I haven't blogged since Xanga
The desire to blog has been flirting with me for the last few months but I never know exactly
what to say. I suppose after narrating all day and being a mom to a 4 (almost 5) year old boy, I don't want to think anymore (let alone put thoughts into coherent sentences that...) See? My mind just wandered right there. There is only so much of: "HEY MOM! WATCH! HEY! MOOOOOM WATCH THIS!" *bites french fry in half* that a person can take in one day.
I think this will be a great opportunity to let you know what's going on in my life, my career, and my endlessly rambling brain. I remember when I could write. I remember when I used to have interesting things to say or topics to discuss. Those were certainly the days. I had fantasies of having deep, endless conversations in a coffee shop with someone I cared about. I thought I was going to be an academic in comparative religious studies with expertise in ancient religions and languages. I was going to be a pretentious talking head on The History Channel (that was before all the alien stuff). These days, I can barely finish a sentence or I find myself in this situation:
Me: Hey, could you pass the... um... the *snapping fingers at the thing like that will jog my memory* the thing next to the um... the... thing for my food? *sighing in exasperation, those around me look at me, confused*
People: ...the salt?
Me: YES! The salt. Thank you...
This is a phenomenon I have especially noticed since I had my son in May 2018. Mommy-brain is real and it doesn't seem to go away. I've learned to live with it but it's still quite frustrating. I used to know things! I used to use big words and now I can't remember the word for "cup" or "salt" or "bookshelf". In my defense, the snapping seems to help. Maybe. I'd like to use this blog to stretch my brain legs... is there a word for that? I suppose it amounts to expanding my vocabulary, practicing putting my thoughts into words people can understand, and providing a space for me to be vulnerable and explore.
For those of you that may not know me so well, Hi! I'm Michelle. I'm a transplant to Roanoke, Virginia from Delaware, Ohio. I'm a mother, an audiobook narrator, avid reader, I love crochet, and I used to ghost hunt with my family a few years back. I was actually interviewed about my time as a paranormal investigator by the Paranormal Stranger Things Podcast! You can listen to my episode HERE if you'd like.
I'm in a major transition period in my life that include leveling up my career as a narrator, preparing for bariatric surgery (down 20lbs so far pre-surgery!), I will be setting off on my own soon with my son, I just need to save up some money so I feel secure. As I wrote that I just realized I'm listening to a song called: When You Love Someone by James TW. The lyrics are:
Sometimes moms and dads fall out of love
Sometimes two homes are better than one
Some things you can't tell your sister cause she's still too young
Yeah you'll understand when you love someone
There ain't no one here to blame
And nothing's gonna change with your old friends
Your room will stay the same because you'll only be away on the weekend
It don't make sense but nevertheless, you gotta believe us, it's all for the best
It don't make sense, it don't add up but we'lll always love you no matter what
Annnnd now I'm tearing up.
So yeah... I have a lot going on, I suppose and I keep holding myself to the old standards when things weren't falling apart. When I do this, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I truly am going through a lot right now and it takes a lot to get up in the morning and live life normally, knowing soon enough, it will be completely different.
Well, there it is. I suppose this is why I need a blog. I need an outlet. You'll learn more about me as I continue to write. I look forward to getting to know all of you too.
Thanks for reading!